During the last year, I’ve experienced a lot. Some things were caused by war, some were just life events we all are facing. For the whole year, whenever I was going, I was always caring my backpack I packed the morning when the war started, which had a little of necessities and a lot of pain, sorrow, and grief. Even though it was always with me, I only realized its presence, its heaviness, and how much it bothers me just before the breath work session with Christian and Michael. It was not at the session when I let myself not carry my backpack with me, it was just before it but at the same time because of it. So, my experience at the actual session wasn’t bothered by ‘extra weight’, and wasn’t full of sadness and pain, as I, frankly speaking, was expecting it to be. I was preparing in my head to suffer, to cry, to feel bad in order to heal. Instead of that, I was feeling happiness and lightness.
I wasn’t feeling anywhere at home for a very very long time, which also means that I was lacking the feeling of safety. But when I closed my eyes and the session started, I, unexpectedly for me, found myself at home. At home that has nothing to do with a physical place, so it is always with me, whenever I go. A lot of things happened to me during the session, some of which still need time to be realized (or not), so the session is still happening to me and affecting me. What I can surely say is that it was an experience of love and happiness, of life that is happening, of timeless presence, an experience of the moment, unique and repeated at the same time.
I can’t say that after the session all my problems disappeared. I still struggle, a lot of things still happening to me, there are ups and downs, as well as war still lefts its marks on me. But at the same time, Christian and Michael helped me to feel myself capable, to feel myself at home, to feel love and gratitude, and to feel easiness, no matter what. After all, isn’t it all life, which is just happening?